You're Too Old To Be Kinky When...
This made me chuckle 😂
Found on Reddit
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Your idea of breath play involves running your wheelchair over your oxygen hose.
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You tell your subbie to back into the paddle rather than risk hurting yourself by taking a swing.
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You search in vain for leather Depends.
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Your dentures come out with the ball gag.
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Your safe word becomes "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
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A wax pour is what covers your cake once all the candles are lit.
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Breast bondage is when you've accidentally tucked them into your waistband... again.
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You lecture younger Dominants about how you didn't use fancy store-bought toys in your day and you made your submissive crawl uphill both ways in the snow to retrieve them.
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Edge play involves getting too close to a busy road without someone to help you across.
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You keep tripping over the chain on the nipple clamps when you walk.
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You have to remember to remove your Prince Albert before you take your Viagra.
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Most of your kinkier tattoos have faded to the point that even you can't make them out.
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The joint stiffness you experience in the winter makes bondage almost unnecessary.
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Sensory deprivation involves removing your glasses and hearing aid.
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You've tried to get a seniors' discount at the sex shop.
